Elaine K Nahai

Downplays family of origin issues and their role in intimate relationships. Enables the spouse with such issues to initi...ate arguments and then shut down and judges and counsels the other one with a healthier background to stop "pushing" on things when that person believes that it is healthy and necessary to resolve conflicts rather than enable and approve of the other one for engaging in classic unhealthy ACOA behavior. Tell healthier spouse it is not correct to label things for what they are in order to address the issues. Counselor was exposed to much telling information showing the existence of a manic episode in a spouse whose anxiety disorder (also classic description of dynamics of such) should have been evident in complaints of stressed out spouse with a healthy family of origin. Basically, more or less ignore and treat like there is a level playing field when one spouse is an ACOA with bipolar and an anxiety disorder and try to make healthier spouse feel like unhealthy spouse's feelings are not being validated. As if to compensate and accommodate rather than address the issues. Now that spouse with such issues is much healthier, thanks to other therapy, medication and other things having little or nothing to do with counselor's input, the relationship is much smoother despite the healthier spouse never really "working on" themselves or changing in any way. If you are a couple and one has underlying issues that need treatment, stay far away, as she will talk in circles and pretend that the healthier person (if that be the case) is playing a significant role in issues that they are not, while leaving important issues that are at the root of the relationship problems to go unaddressed and "talked around". more details